Asking about Essay
I have two different common/coalition app essays. One is about struggle to find a place to study as a student in a family that doesn't have a lot of money and how my love of learning helps me. Another is about my dad and I's love for presidents and how it inspires me to help others. I have been told that my second essay is not focused enough on myself, but I also feel like my first essay is to vague. Which one should I use?
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Hi! I would recommend writing out both essays and submitting it for peer review or professional review.
I like both your ideas -- they both seem important to you, which is the point of these types of essays. The first one -- although I understand your position -- does sound very vague, so make sure to put your spin to it and include a lot of personal details. This will ensure that your essay shows you as a person rather than just your struggle. I think showing your personality might be a little easier with the second essay. Rather than writing about your dad and your interest, focus on writing about how your interest has grown over the years. You can still mention your dad's shared interest as well, but that should not be the main focus. How have presidents inspired you? Which specific presidents? I feel like you can make this essay very unique if you really focus it on yourself.
Hope that helps! Make sure to get the essays edited and ask for other's opinions on them!
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