1
3 years ago
Admissions Advice

Hello, how can I get a striking introduction in my essay
Answered

I just graduated from high school.

AcceptanceRate
1
3
🎉 First post
Let’s welcome @Ebikonboere to the community! Remember to be kind, helpful, and supportive in your responses.

Earn karma by helping others:

1 karma for each ⬆️ upvote on your answer, and 20 karma if your answer is marked accepted.

3 answers

1
Accepted Answer
3 years ago

You can...

1. Start with an unexpected, mysterious, or surprising statement that compels the reader to continue.

"I have never been good at breathing."

2. Start with a vivid, specific image or scene

"As I step out of bed, the pain shoots through my foot and up my leg like it has done every morning since “the game.” That night, a defensive linebacker tackled me, his 212 pounds landing decidedly on my ankle. I heard the sound before I felt it."

Here's an article that elaborates more...

https://www.scribbr.com/category/college-essay/#start-with-a-memorable-introduction

1
2
3 years ago

Hi! My advice would be to start right in the action, or the "middle" of your story. For example, instead of starting out by saying "I want to go to this school because..." start out with something more attention-grabbing. For example, maybe you want to study biology to become a doctor because of a good hospital experience you had as a kid. Start out your essay by saying something like, "As I lay there in pain, the realization hit me. I want to be a doctor." Obviously, this is very cliche/rough, but do you get a general idea? Start in the heart of things, and backtrack out. I hope that this helps, good luck!! :)

2
1
3 years ago[edited]

I'm assuming that you are talking about CommonApp essays.

So far, my way of making my introduction interesting was to create an image. For example, if my topic is hiking (it's not, but as an example), I would talk about the scenery, and how I am looking down from the mountain top, hearing the birds chirping, feeling the wind whistling in my ears, etc.

I tried to use my visual senses, especially, so that readers can relate to my experience.

Hope this helped.

1
What are your chances of acceptance?
Your chance of acceptance
Duke University
Loading…
UCLA
Loading…
+ add school
Your chancing factors
Unweighted GPA: 3.7
1.0
4.0
SAT: 720 math
200
800
| 800 verbal
200
800

Extracurriculars

Low accuracy (4 of 18 factors)

Community Guidelines

To keep this community safe and supportive:

  1. Be kind and respectful!
  2. Keep posts relevant to college admissions and high school.
  3. Don’t ask “chance-me” questions. Use CollegeVine’s chancing instead!

How karma works