Do I State My Personal Info? Answered
I am a 4.0 student and have always done good in school. One of the more frequent questions I get asked is what my motivation was and how could I encourage other kids around me to really try and focus in school. I live in a small town and a lot of kids here don't have that motivation to go on to do bigger and better things. I don't know how to explain to an admissions counselor that my only motivation for success is my hatred for the lifestyle of my family. Not necessarily hatred for any particular people, but "hate" has gotten me some interesting reactions.
So, do I stick to that and sit and explain the backstory to it, or should I say something else entirely? I feel like it is a really big part of my life and it has played a major role in the person I am today, but I don't want to jeopardize any opportunities that may come my way because people think I have the wrong motivation.
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2 answers
I would NOT state anything negative or derogatory about your family, their values or inability to think the way the people you admire do. Remember, we as children of humans can not change what we look like when we are born, our names or who our family and extended family members are. But we can change how we want to navigate through this world we all share together. Some of us have more challenges that others because we have a certain skin color, or belong to certain faith or caste, or come from a marginalized low income background. But we can learn to accept our heritage and do everything in our power to live a different life than the one we were born into.
The only reason you hate your family lifestyle is because you are aware of other paths and other ways of thinking and living. Therefore, it's better for you to focus your essay on who your hero(s) are and what makes them someone you wish to emulate versus staying in your home town with the people you grew up with. It's better to state "I want to become this type of person and do theses types of things with these goals in mind" rather than saying my family is lacking in inspiration or anything negative about them. Perhaps if you take those risks and become someone different, some of your family members will look to you as a hero or someone that showed them that change is possible with the right motivation and grit to get her done.
The people you are sharing your essay with are all intelligent, well mannered, sophisticated adults. Therefore it's important to convey a sense of maturity in your writing, and if you write with poise, grace and humility, they will appreciate it more than if your words express condemnation, resentment and spite. God grants us free will to either look at the world as gift for us to make something out of ourselves and our journey or in the worst case, as a excuse to justify our need to serve ourselves in a selfish way.
I don't know you and you actually might "hate" people in your family. That is your prerogative. If you want to get into a great college, your purpose in writing essays is to show you are have the desire, will, skills and potential to become the best version of yourself and hopefully that version will serve the great good of the global community including the university you are applying to.
Does that make sense. Until you can show by example why you are better human than those in your family whose lifestyle you disagree with, it's better not to bring them into the college admissions process.
Good luck.
Instead of saying "Hate" say something similar to "I grew up in less than ideal circumstances where those around me were content to simply sit back and take the easy path that would lead to unsatisfactory lives. Instead, I have chosen to take the difficult path and make something out of this world for me." You can change it to better fit your story but word it so you seem like a protagonist. Good luck!
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This makes so much sense, thank you so much!