One of the lines in my UT Austin leadership essay is a bit dicey. I may sound arrogant.Answered
That line is: "While intuitively understand math concepts and applications, many of my peers don't. My desire to help them makes math close to my heart."
Do I sound arrogant? Do I sound like I am putting down others around me? If so, what would be a better way to phrase this so that I don't seem arrogant.
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5 answers
I don't think it is good sentence.
You should write instead something like this -
"I get great satisfaction in helping peers understand math concepts and applications, watching students have those breakthrough moments, because up till now math has come easy to me."
Your previous sentence doesn't connect the dots with your desire to help and any empathy or compassion you may have for serving the needs of others. That is leadership after all right? -The act of helping others who can't help themselves.
Good luck.
I feel that while the sentence may be true, it is best to reword it so you aren't comparing yourself to your peers. You can still say how you understand concepts, but then say that you would like to use this ability to help others. It would be great if you have a short personal account of helping someone as well.
"I feel that I have an intuitive ability when it comes to understanding math concepts and applications. While observing my fellow peers, I enjoy utilizing this ability to assist and spread my love for math." just a suggestion
Although it may be true (I'm sure you're very intelligent), I feel it's best to not compare yourself to other students too directly or put them down. Good luck on your essay!
I think that it doesn't sound that arrogant, but I would steer clear of using comparisons with other applicants such as "unlike others", "whereas others", "some of my peers", etc. since UT Austin (this applies to many colleges, but especially such a prestigious university) has many other applicants that are extremely qualified.
Hey!
I do not think at all that this sounds arrogant, rather that you have the skills and qualities of a compassionate leader. However, if you wanted to rephrase it in a less arrogant-ish way, I'd recommend something along the lines of "understand math concepts in a deeper way than many of my peers/in a way that many of my peers don't" rather than just implying they don't understand math at all. Hope this helps!
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