essayAnswered
I am writing my college essay on a health issue I have and the growth from experiencing it. How do I make sure I convey the struggle to its fullest degree without sounding too much like a sob story? And how do I make sure I convey what I have learned from the experience in the best, most efficient way?
Earn karma by helping others:
2 answers
The easiest way to show growth would probably be a "this is where I was" story at the beginning and a "this is where I am now" story at the end. They don't have to be longer than a few lines for the former and a sentence for the latter, but they'll give the reader a marker to reference.
For example, if you wanted to write about an amputated hand (completely random example off the top of my head, obvi tailor to your situation), you could start with how it now took hours to do your favorite hairstyle, and how it still wouldn't come out right. At the end, toss in a "now, months later, I deftly pull my hair into braids" or "even though I still can't pull off a perfect french twist".
TL;DR: choose something small that wasn't the same/was harder with a health struggle, and then talk about how you either overcame that or learned to accept it.
As for the sob story -
The only way to write a "sob story" is to focus on the illness over yourself. If your essay is just about what the health issue did to you, then that won't work. If you only write about the impact the health issue had on you, you become a passive character in your own story. But if your essay is about your own feelings/effort/actions that were caused by the issue, you take back the narrative.
TL;DR 2: Don't stop at "issue affected me"; write "issue affected me so I did X".
Hope that helps!
Hi @sobhasingh!
I'd recommend focusing less on the specific issue or incident and more on how you developed as a result. For the purposes of this essay, you'll want to treat your illness as an inciting incident. The rest of your essay will establish a narrative arc around the struggle and how it impacted you.
I'd start with establishing points like before, during, after, and epilogue. Think about your expectations and state of mind at each stage ("during" would be the initial struggle, "after" would be the equilibrium once you reach a new normal, and "epilogue" would be where you are today). You can avoid the "sob story" label by focusing on that arc and your personal changes rather than trying to evoke sympathy from the audience (which it sounds like you're doing already).
Lastly, to convey your changes in the most efficient way, make sure to include specific anecdotes. The narrative framing will help you in this, and you can save your more abstract lessons or reflections for the conclusion.
Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.
Your chance of acceptance
Your chancing factors
Community Guidelines
To keep this community safe and supportive:
- Be kind and respectful!
- Keep posts relevant to college admissions and high school.
- Don’t ask “chance-me” questions. Use CollegeVine’s chancing instead!
Thank you all so much!