Please tell me that I am not going crazy and how I should proceed with the situation below. I'm severely lost.Answered
IMMEDIATE HELP NEEDED TO KNOW I'M NOT GOING CRAZY.
I'm a 16 year old junior in high school and have a 3.4 GPA unweighted. My parents made up the rule, that if I am not studying every waking chance I can to "get an A", then I will be grounded for getting anything below an A on my midterms. I am decently smart but not Albert Damn Einstein (and he did horrible in school). The grounding will be 6 months with no electronics whatsoever, no friends whatsoever, and no exceptions whatsoever. And, I will not be able to try out for the Varsity soccer team which is pretty much the one thing I look forward to and am exceptionally good at in school. The only reason I am going to college is to play soccer and get a degree in something. That's it. I believe they're too strict and even though I talk back to them about these things, I should have a right to debate a 6 month grounding period. That's absurd. And trust me, they are not bluffing whatsoever. I have been grounded for longer than 6 months before and now I am quite honestly just done with the $H1T. At first I was not proactive about studying and still am not. However, I've put in about an hour a day for the past 3 days and my first two exams are tomorrow. Quite honestly, they make me want to not get a college education because if they are gonna ride my @$$ in high school like this, the only chance of me going to college is internationally so I won't have either of them breathing down my shirt hole 24/7. Please help me out here. This is not a reasonable punishment in my eyes and the pressure they put on me hinders my ability to focus on daily concepts. This was just the icing on the cake as I just got ungrounded again. And 6 months will take me right into the final exams and their will probably be an even bigger punishment for that making it N endless loop as no one with my brain capacity can pull off straight A's on their exams eve with an unnecessarily abundant amount of studying as I am in two AP and two Honors classes. Please let me know what I should say to my parents in detail and how I should tolerate this tyranny from here on out. Because honestly, it has become so much of a problem, that I am seriously considering abandoning our relationship as an adult. It's sad when you look at your life as a 16 year old and you can't wait to pay your own taxes and buy your own food and own your own car and not have to ask to do EVERYTHING.
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1 answer
Hi @CJRT31!
First of all, relax! There ought to be a way to come to a consensus.
Putting in an hour a day for three days before exams won't get you an A (unless you meant to say you put in 1 extra hour a day and you've been putting in enough hard work since the beginning). When you lack intrinsic motivation to do something, you need to get extrinsic motivation (which can be in the form of a punishment or a reward promised for an achievement). That's probably what your parents are trying to do. They see that you aren't really proactive about studying and have to force you to do so. One thing that'll be able to convince them is your promise to put in your best. You can't just say that you can't get an A without even trying. If they find you becoming more responsible for your own life, they won't be so harsh. Electronics would be too ambitious; for now, try to negotiate time for soccer because that will help relieve your mind of anxiety from studies. Not sure how it'll work out, but try showing them the FIFA World Cup and explain your passion for soccer. Good luck!
Hope this helps!
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Thanks this really does help. I really do feel like they are trying to help me, but they expect way too much out of me to succeed. I want to be able to spend the last two years as a legal minor in enjoyment and of course working hard, but just not all the time. But yeah i will talk to them. Thanks @Anonymous123