Is this a good intro paragraph to my college essay?

My father passed away while I slept on a cot next to his hospice bed. My mom told me that my Dad would pass away that evening and that he wanted me close to him. I slept the whole night through and only awoke upon my Mom's gentle touch in the morning. I remember little else about that night; however, I am very aware of wanting to be close to my Dad everyday since then. I create a feeling of closeness to my Dad through my actions and feelings. I am motivated to be the best I can be so he would be proud of me. For now, that means the best student, the best athlete and best human that I can be.