literary genius or barely literate elementary school kid?Answered
hi. shoutout btw if youre the guy who reviewed my essay. thanks!
anyways so in my common app essay i tried to throw in an anaphora right. so basically i repeated "i loved..." like three times at the beginning of my sentence. and my homedawg who reviewed it pointed it out and now im stumped.
so basically are the college admissions people gonna throw down their hats and give me their first born kid for my excellent technique and my insane knowledge of anaphoras? or are they gonna think i dont know another way to say "i loved" and am actually stupid.
thanks!!!
(heres the full phrase im questioning btw: " I loved hearing the splash of water as the children I had grown to know and love dove into the bright water. I loved helping Cadence; I loved seeing her smile as we worked through her problems together.")
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2 answers
hi im the guy who reviewed your easay!! (seriously)
it didn’t sound bad, i think i mentioned i didn’t know if it was intentional or if you had done it for the intentional repetition which is why i mentioned it
if you like it i would keep it
Using anaphoras is really powerful, instead of removing or replcing "I loved" try restructuring the sentences maybe? It might enhance the effect of the anaphora
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hey boo!!! thanks for that essay review :) absolute bestie!!! i think i'll keep it for now but like since it was a first draft when i put it back up here again (collegevine will be seeing all my essays 5+ times) and someone else points it out ill just throw my anaphora away. anyways thanks again for that review homie!!! sorry you had to read that god awful essay :D