Live essay review with Elias

Recorded Saturday, November 27 at 09:30 PM

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About this livestream

Description

Join Elias for another installment of our Live Essay Review!

During this event (designed specifically for current high school students), Elias will select a few pieces of writing submitted by the audience to review LIVE on air. Any type of writing is welcome in this review — college and scholarship essays, papers for class, articles for your school’s newspaper, or even personal projects of your own. For each piece, Elias will walk through what you’ve written, paying particular attention to any special review requests, and offer suggestions for improvement.

You can submit an essay for review to this form!

See you there!

Note - this stream date has been changed to adjust for the Thursday holiday.

Your host

Undergrad College: Harvard University '17

Major: Music

Graduate College: University of Michigan, M.M.

Work Experience: Now in my fourth year at CollegeVine, I have helped dozens of students gain acceptance to their top-choice schools and have also advised and mentored thousands more through my livestreams. Apart from my work at CV, I am also a professional conductor and a multi-instrumentalist. I currently serve as the music director of the Apollo Ensemble of Boston, and I have led symphonic concerts and operatic productions throughout the United States.

My Admissions Story: Initially interested in pursuing a career as a performing cellist, I applied almost exclusively to music schools with dual and double degree options and ultimately enrolled in the Tufts University/New England Conservatory Dual Degree Program. Unhappy with the combined program and worried I'd never feel like I was fully a student at either school, I logged back into CommonApp.org in October of my freshman year. I can't say I went about the transfer process in the smartest way (I only applied to two schools!), but Harvard miraculously accepted me (or 'excepted me' as I wrote in a celebratory Facebook post that day - no one ever let me live that one down), and the rest was history.

Audience questions

These are questions from the audience that we had time to answer during the live session. If you have any other questions, you can request an answer from Elias and other CollegeVine experts in an upcoming livestream or on the Q&A Forum anytime.
0:21@adityaraj:hi
0:23@fani:Did this stream start yet
1:58@adityaraj:HI
2:10@fani:If I write a whole essay on an extracurricular, should I not include that extracurricular on the UC app? Because in the description section of the UC app, they tell you to elaborate on what you did and what you learned and that's already covered in my essay
2:47@fani:in the extracurricular section i mean
3:12@adityaraj:How do i submit the essay to you?
9:38@fani:31
9:39@summerorbanwrites:Hi Elias!
23:02@anna14:i copied and pasted from google docs and it looked like it kept the spacing
23:09@summerorbanwrites:After I submitted my essay a reload button appeared on Typeform and then I was led to fill out the form again so I didn't know if there was an error or not?
29:32@summerorbanwrites:Pomona was mine, sorry I didn't know what was going on with the form.
30:30@adityaraj:I submitted a purdue essay...could you review that please :)
31:31@Isaaacsaadi:Does your essay have to appear on screen (plagiarism concerns)?
38:55@anna14:to whoever wrote this essay...i love po too
39:03@Divdhingra:Could u review my UC PIQ #1?
39:07@fani:Can you review the one that starts with “The Office of Admissions actively seeks out”?? Thank you :))
39:19@Isaaacsaadi:It's just the Harvard ec and the personal statement essay
39:31@ImHarry:I submitted the CommonApp essay, it would be really helpful to get some feedback, pwease :)
39:40@summerorbanwrites:I think a stream or so on the weekends sounds nice, especially for those who have a lot of homework or extracurriculars during the schoolweek!
40:02@anna14:would be cool if you did mine, it starts with Anna14 in the title :)
40:29@anna14:yeah weekend streams work best for me
47:42@Divdhingra:I had multiple paragraphs it's just typeform ig?
53:39@fani:Maybe “the intricate nature of”
53:43@fani:The intricate nature of Bhangra
53:45@Divdhingra:two separate paragraphs
53:48@Divdhingra:"5,6,7,8" "Bhangra: it's intricateness..."
53:50@Divdhingra:5678 is it's own paragraph
55:32@Divdhingra:it was my first year in the position as Captain
57:15@Divdhingra:Should I delete the "From this I realized...WeCanCode" Paragraph?
57:23@fani:Can someone tell me how to make the spacing work? Because it never works when I just copy and paste. I’ve even tried leaving spaces between the paragraphs but type form gets rid of them.
60:58@fani:Question: what is a word you would use to describe a new book smell
61:04@ImHarry:Mine is the CommonApp under the MIT essays, could you read it?
61:19@fani:I mean the prompt starts with “The Office of Admissions actively seeks out” because I think that’s what shows up on your screen :)
61:20@fani:It’s pretty short
61:24@fani:Yeah weekend streams work best for me also
61:26@Isaaacsaadi:can you do my harvard extracurricular essay by chance?
62:21@summerorbanwrites:New book smell: Bibliosmia
62:28@anna14:i submitted mine w/ a google drive link :)
62:29@anna14:crisp?
67:20@Isaaacsaadi:It's a pageant that honors Waco's (huge slave city) "history"
67:32@fani:Thank you summerorban and Anna!!
67:35@erenyesam:can i send my personal statment ?
68:27@anna14:meee
69:35@anna14:just to let you know, idk if its intentional -- the essay isn't on the screen
78:01@anna14:*your umich.edu email
78:06@anna14:i just sent you access, it went to your umich.edu program :)
78:08@fani:Thank you so much!!
78:10@anna14:maybe refresh to see new submissions?
78:12@fani:Well technically you spent three years at TCNJ and four at another medical school that’s why I said 3
80:05@fani:Your troop leader is lame for that comment smh
80:07@anna14:yep :)
85:10@anna14:yeah i left the troop LOL
85:11@anna14:nah it was just a metaphor saying that i tried to dissociate myself from my culture
86:40@fani:I’ll give the troop leader a talking to 😤
87:24@ImHarry:Can you read mine next :)
87:27@Divdhingra:Do you have a good synonym for share (as in sharing an experience)?
87:33@anna14:thank you for the feedback :))
89:03@summerorbanwrites:Sharing an experience: Relatable, Understandable, Sympathizable
92:09@Divdhingra:Thank you
92:14@anna14:sharing an experience: maybe verb-ing together? like you laughed together or danced together
92:19@anna14:I LOVE WHOEVER SUBMITTED THIS
92:21@fani:Summerorban you have good taste love Taylor swift
92:27@anna14:omg taylor swift fans unite
93:42@summerorbanwrites:Aww thanks Fani!
93:45@summerorbanwrites:Thanks Anna!
95:10@summerorbanwrites:Thank you again for the reviews, super helpful as always!
95:14@summerorbanwrites:Bye Elias!
95:16@fani:Omw to listen to the lakes
95:20@anna14:legendary colin
95:24@anna14:what makes a strong conclusion to an essay?
95:28@anna14:same fani
98:13@ImHarry:Good night :)

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