Live essay review with Robert

Recorded Thursday, January 6 at 01:00 AM

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About this livestream

Description

Join Robert for an installment of our Live Essay Review!

During this event (designed specifically for current high school students), Robert will select a few pieces of writing submitted by the audience to review LIVE on air. Any type of writing is welcome in this review — college and scholarship essays, papers for class, articles for your school’s newspaper, or even personal projects of your own. For each piece, Robert will walk through what you’ve written, paying particular attention to any special review requests, and offer suggestions for improvement.

You can submit an essay for review to this form.

See you there!

Your host

Undergrad College: Yale University '21

Major: Ethics, Politics & Economics; Classics (Intensive)

Work Experience: As a recent graduate of Yale University, I am excited to begin my first year with CollegeVine! In many ways, CV was a natural fit for me -- at Yale, I worked for over two years in the Office of Undergraduate Admissions, beginning as a Senior Interviewer in the summer of 2019, during which I interviewed over 200 first-year applicants for the 2019-2020 college admissions cycle. After the summer ended, I became Lead Recruitment Coordinator, a full-time position responsible for executing and overseeing Yale’s numerous post-admissions decision yield initiatives, as well as serving as a spokesman for the university both in person and online. Over the past two years, I have had the privilege of interacting with hundreds of students and their families at all stages of the college application process.

My Admissions Story: Having always been interested in studying a variety of subjects within the Humanities and Social Sciences, I applied to a smattering of liberal arts colleges and universities (mostly on the East Coast) with strong departments in these areas, large and diverse student bodies, and varied extracurricular opportunities. When my college admissions decisions rolled in, I immediately accepted an offer from my dream school, Yale University, which I had always felt best embodied the opportunities and goals that I desired from my college experience -- and since that day, I’ve never looked back.

Audience questions

These are questions from the audience that we had time to answer during the live session. If you have any other questions, you can request an answer from Robert and other CollegeVine experts in an upcoming livestream or on the Q&A Forum anytime.
3:10@globeTrotter:Hey Robert! Sorry to bother, but can u go over my essay please—it’s due tonight. Thx!
4:11@strawberrypocky:Congratulations!
11:14@ODS123:Is this a safe space? I submitted a personal statement.
22:54@Rosa:instead of gaping you could use glaring
23:46@Rosa:lol nice to know im popular
28:00@CoolCool:Check
33:24@ODS123:I can’t see anything
42:53@Christ4Life:Can you read my essay because I want to know if the template I chose for my why us essay is good, so I know if I should apply it to my other why us essays that I am applying for today?
42:59@globeTrotter:It’s “Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning (250 Words)” btw. Thx. Congrats btw.
44:55@globeTrotter:Ok for sure thx
47:08@Christ4Life:It’s the why Barnard one.
47:10@Christ4Life:Ok, thank you.
52:10@Rosa:I'm just curious, is there a reason why the essay is in second person perspective? It's a really creative essay, but it does feel like it would be better if it was in first person! Just my opinion though
59:55@globeTrotter:I resubmitted it—try this: The Stanford Community is deeply curious and driven to learn in and out of the classroom. Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning (250 Words) Thx again Robert! Appreciate it a lot!
60:04@162007A1--:Just now I submitted my essay on Carnegie Mellon University - Essay Prompt: Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that's developed over time—what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study. (300 words). Can you see it?
63:22@globeTrotter:*** means a new para btw. Thx
67:01@Jimmysmith:Thank you Robert. I think I have to leave to wrap up on my essays for tonight. Once again, thanks for the tips and advice.
68:25@globeTrotter:When I say anything can be a vital source of knowledge, it’s meant to foreshadow that even my students can be a source of knowledge (usually it’s the flip)—does that work?
69:26@ODS123:please can you review mine its why NYU
69:35@globeTrotter:Oh for sure thx
73:59@Rosa:it would be great if you could also talk about collaborating with peers since New York values connection and diversity!
81:53@globeTrotter:Hey Robert! One more clarification, if you don’t mind: For the “genuinely excited about learning” essay, when I introduce my idea, you said that I should specify that Always A Student is the philosophy. But I thought that was already implied by me starting that next paragraph with “AAS…” That said, would it still work if I leave it as is, or should I write “To recognize that, however, it’s important to comprehend THE PHILOSOPHY that every one of use is Always A Student *** AAS revolutionized my perception of the acquisition of knowledge…” Original Paragraph (no “philosophy”): “To recognize that, however, it’s important to comprehend that every one of us is Always A Student. *** AAS revolutionized my perception of the acquisition of knowledge…”
85:12@globeTrotter:What if I put (AAS) next to Always A Student to save on wording? Or would “THE PHILOSOPHY” work better? Thanks for the advice Robert. I see what you’re trying to say!
86:24@globeTrotter:Oh yeah. Gotcha! Thank You so much !
87:16@Marcela:Hi there, I just wrote a letter of continued interest, but I am not sure if the structure I used is correct, as I did it like telling my day, with timing and all. At the end I talk about the college not my day, but I am not sure if I can write in this structure, could tell me what do you think? Thx
93:19@Marcela:Thank you so much! It helped me a lot
99:10@Rosa:thank you robert you're beautiful as well lol
105:12@Rosa:thank you!!
106:49@globeTrotter:Thank You So Much Robert! Truly a 🐐. Thanks for being you man.
107:32@ODS123:Thank you Robert. You are phenomenal!

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