How to write a college essay without it sounding like a sob story?
Summary: have a condition called POTS, (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) that limits me from doing things physically and mentally at times. I also take care of my parents, who are old and sick, after get home from school from 3 -8, along with helping to cook and clean. This prevents me from doing many extracurriculars and such programs that really want to but may not be able to because of either physical issues or time issues.
So in conclusion, I want to be able to express all of that, in college admissions essay form, BUT not making it sound like a total sob story. How do go about that? (I want to communicate to them how I couldn't do other extracurriculars and other programs because of this situation)
Backround info:
MESA, Participated for years, Captain of Team all 6 years, going to state competition this year.
•Mock Trial, one of the Founders of the team, Participated for 3 years, went to circuit court championship.
Internship for the City of [state capital/will not be named]/ Workforce Development (for the county), Summer 2021, Researched for grants and researched and developed gun violence awareness programs for youth.
Backround info:
have taken 13 Honors courses, 7 AP courses and have gotten straight A's all throughout high school so far.
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2 answers
I completely understand what it's like to feel like you're spilling a sob story on an essay. The number one advice I can give you is to squeeze the most of your paper into your background info, and as personal touch talk about your experiences and how a college education would help you! I'm sure a college education would supply many benefits to managing/treating your POTS and taking care of your parents. Talk about how participating in MESA affected you throughout your years of doing it, or how committing yourself to creating those programs affected you. How did it make you feel? How did the community around you react? Would you be willing to do more community work like that? Why or why not? Always make sure to leave your own personal resolve in the essay, but avoid pushing the harder-to-deal-with parts of life.
The key to an essay about this topic, and really the majority of topics, is to explain your story through narrative. Show, rather than tell how POTS and your caregiver responsibilities affected your high school experience. Dialogue, vivid descriptive language, and metaphors are all effective literary tools for this type of personal essay. Make sure to have an upbeat tone in your writing and focus on talking about overcoming your obstacles.
I also recommend taking a look at these essays for some inspiration - the best way to write well is to read examples of good writing. For additional help, feel free to book a 1:1 session or submit an essay review with me or our other consultants. Hope this helps!
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